Our One and
Only
Conrad and I got married on
June 28th, 2009. I have been pursuing my dream of becoming a teacher
since 2007 (just out of High school starting in August 2007 at Front Range
Community College). It is now 2015 and I am a year and a half away from making
my dreams come true. I didn’t ever imagine it would take me 10 years to get my
degree but God had plans for our family and the two of us became 3 a year into
our marriage.
Conrad and I became parents
on the morning of September 26th, 2010 to our perfect little man
Edison Chase. Edison is now going on 5 in a couple months and life with the
three of us has been perfect. Of course there have been questions of, “when
will there be another little Drake?” Aren’t you going to try for a girl?”
Edison needs a sibling to grow up with you should try for at least one more…”
If you had asked me before we had Edison how many kids we want to have, I would
have said two, I want my first to have someone to grow up with, I grew up with
my sister and Conrad had the privilege to grow up with three. I would keep
telling people asking me about when there will be another that hopefully after
I graduate we would hopefully try for another. I would love to have another
baby, I love kids and absolutely love Edison.
When I started to think
about how we could make another little Drake work in our lives I started to
really get depressed that it simply wouldn’t work out. I started to feel like I
ruined my chances of having the perfect family, of giving Edison a sibling like
his mom and dad had growing up. I started to think, how on earth will Edison
feel and grow up without having a brother or a sister? Then like a voice spoke
to me directly I realized that I know two amazing people in my life who are
only children. I realized that it isn’t about the quantity of family members
but the bond that you share with the family members you have. I realized that
we could be completely happy with just the three of us, we don’t need to bring
another baby in to this family to be happy or complete. We are complete right
now. There is still that question why not try for another? What is stopping
you? Well here is my answer:
I am just about to finish
school as an Elementary Teacher. These last three semesters are not going to be
easy. They are time consuming and I found that out when I started at Metropolitan
State University last fall, realizing I needed to quit my job if I was going to
keep doing well in school and find time to spend with Conrad and Edison. I was
literally pulling myself thin trying to be everything I was trying to be and it
was unhealthy and it was showing how stressed mentally and physically I was
becoming. Things needed to change and God gave us the opportunity to change
that. I got the chance to quit on October 11th, 2014 from my job at
Starbucks where I had been working for nearly 5 years. Quitting was the best
thing I did because I had so much more time to focus on school and still have a
little time to spend with Conrad and Edison each night and on weekends.
Now that I am at the end of
my college journey the classes I am in will be requiring me to do field placement
which is physically getting to go into an elementary school classroom when I’m
not in school in my other classes. After two semesters of that I will be
finishing up with my student teaching semester which will take even more time
of me and less time with my family. After graduating I will hopefully be
employed with a school district as an Elementary Teacher; the dream I have been
reaching and striving for, for 10 years.
Can you see why I don’t see
how a new baby would fit into all this? I already barely have time with my
family as it is and to try and bring another little human being into this crazy
world? As much as my heart would love to have another Drake in our family, it
just doesn’t seem logical to try right now. I’m not saying that if God has
other plans we wouldn’t be happy if we got pregnant again but that is up to God
and he knows where our lives will be and it is in His hands. It isn’t up to
anyone else to decide when we should have another baby and if we should have
another baby. We are not damaging Edison from having any siblings to grow up
with because if he wants to be a brother to someone, who is to say he can’t be.
It is a title and blood doesn’t matter. If you believe in your heart that
someone is like a brother or sister to you then they are. Not to mention the
three of us are so close and will continue to grow close with each passing day.
He will have cousin/cousins soon whom he can play and grow up with and will
have friends in school and in his neighborhood whom he will grow up with and
close to.
And lastly, I do admire those
who had more than one kid, went to school but I hate that some try to tell me that
if they can do it so should I. It only breaks my heart that someone would
assume that I am not capable of being the best mom I can be because so and so did
it .It is hurtful and only upsets me. I think it is phenomenal that they had
that chance at being a mom more than once and had the opportunity to go through
school. Reality is we are two different human beings who are capable of two
completely different ways of life. I respect them so please respect our
decision to only have one truly remarkable human being. I am truly blessed to
have been given the opportunity of having one of our own because I know some
who cannot have any. The quantity doesn’t make a family, it is the quality of
the relationship within the family and we are blessed to have it be the three
of us.
