Our Happy Family of Three

Our One and Only

Conrad and I got married on June 28^th, 2009. I have been pursuing my dream of becoming a teacher since 2007 (just out of High school starting in August 2007 at Front Range Community College). It is now 2015 and I am a year and a half away from making my dreams come true. I didn’t ever imagine it would take me 10 years to get my degree but God had plans for our family and the two of us became 3 a year into our marriage.

Conrad and I became parents on the morning of September 26^th, 2010 to our perfect little man Edison Chase. Edison is now going on 5 in a couple months and life with the three of us has been perfect. Of course there have been questions of, “when will there be another little Drake?” Aren’t you going to try for a girl?” Edison needs a sibling to grow up with you should try for at least one more…” If you had asked me before we had Edison how many kids we want to have, I would have said two, I want my first to have someone to grow up with, I grew up with my sister and Conrad had the privilege to grow up with three. I would keep telling people asking me about when there will be another that hopefully after I graduate we would hopefully try for another. I would love to have another baby, I love kids and absolutely love Edison.

When I started to think about how we could make another little Drake work in our lives I started to really get depressed that it simply wouldn’t work out. I started to feel like I ruined my chances of having the perfect family, of giving Edison a sibling like his mom and dad had growing up. I started to think, how on earth will Edison feel and grow up without having a brother or a sister? Then like a voice spoke to me directly I realized that I know two amazing people in my life who are only children. I realized that it isn’t about the quantity of family members but the bond that you share with the family members you have. I realized that we could be completely happy with just the three of us, we don’t need to bring another baby in to this family to be happy or complete. We are complete right now. There is still that question why not try for another? What is stopping you? Well here is my answer:

I am just about to finish school as an Elementary Teacher. These last three semesters are not going to be easy. They are time consuming and I found that out when I started at Metropolitan State University last fall, realizing I needed to quit my job if I was going to keep doing well in school and find time to spend with Conrad and Edison. I was literally pulling myself thin trying to be everything I was trying to be and it was unhealthy and it was showing how stressed mentally and physically I was becoming. Things needed to change and God gave us the opportunity to change that. I got the chance to quit on October 11^th, 2014 from my job at Starbucks where I had been working for nearly 5 years. Quitting was the best thing I did because I had so much more time to focus on school and still have a little time to spend with Conrad and Edison each night and on weekends.

Now that I am at the end of my college journey the classes I am in will be requiring me to do field placement which is physically getting to go into an elementary school classroom when I’m not in school in my other classes. After two semesters of that I will be finishing up with my student teaching semester which will take even more time of me and less time with my family. After graduating I will hopefully be employed with a school district as an Elementary Teacher; the dream I have been reaching and striving for, for 10 years.

Can you see why I don’t see how a new baby would fit into all this? I already barely have time with my family as it is and to try and bring another little human being into this crazy world? As much as my heart would love to have another Drake in our family, it just doesn’t seem logical to try right now. I’m not saying that if God has other plans we wouldn’t be happy if we got pregnant again but that is up to God and he knows where our lives will be and it is in His hands. It isn’t up to anyone else to decide when we should have another baby and if we should have another baby. We are not damaging Edison from having any siblings to grow up with because if he wants to be a brother to someone, who is to say he can’t be. It is a title and blood doesn’t matter. If you believe in your heart that someone is like a brother or sister to you then they are. Not to mention the three of us are so close and will continue to grow close with each passing day. He will have cousin/cousins soon whom he can play and grow up with and will have friends in school and in his neighborhood whom he will grow up with and close to.

And lastly, I do admire those who had more than one kid, went to school but I hate that some try to tell me that if they can do it so should I. It only breaks my heart that someone would assume that I am not capable of being the best mom I can be because so and so did it .It is hurtful and only upsets me. I think it is phenomenal that they had that chance at being a mom more than once and had the opportunity to go through school. Reality is we are two different human beings who are capable of two completely different ways of life. I respect them so please respect our decision to only have one truly remarkable human being. I am truly blessed to have been given the opportunity of having one of our own because I know some who cannot have any. The quantity doesn’t make a family, it is the quality of the relationship within the family and we are blessed to have it be the three of us.  

October 16th and 23rd

October 16^th, 2014

My lovely 4 year old boy Edison wakes up on cue every morning at 6:30 a.m. No matter the day he is up when dad is up getting ready to head to work. Where am I? I am still trying to keep asleep pretending that I didn’t hear him come in as dad is at the sink shaving. It isn’t that I don’t love seeing him wake up but that I thoroughly enjoy my sleep and at that hour of the morning, I am not ready to wake up, especially when I know I still have about 30 minutes left of sleep. As dad gets ready to leave he kisses Edison on the head, gives me a kiss good bye and walks down stairs. Wait for it….. “BYE DADDY I LOVE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AT YOUR WORK……DADDY?! BYE DADDY!” My moment of quiet quickly comes to an end. Whelp I am up. I roll over hoping to try and get a little bit of rest in before my alarms go off. Peaking at the clock, I have 15 minutes left before I really have to be up and out of bed. Edison comes over looks at me at eye level and says in his whisper voice as if I am sleeping, “momma…….momma….can I watch T.V.? Momma can I watch T.V.??” I reply no because he got to watch T.V. yesterday morning and I wanted him to go play instead of becoming a zombie in front of the talking box in our room. He begins to whine, “BUT MOM I WANT TO WATCH T.V. PPPLLLEEEEAAASSSEEEE?????!?!?!” Realizing that his rant wouldn’t work on me this morning he leaves it alone and goes into the other room to play with his toys.

When I do finally get up, I realize that we need to get moving or I will miss my bus to school. I go tell Edison he needs to put his toys up and get dressed so we can get moving. He tells me, “I’m playing right now mom I cant.” I tell him that if he doesn’t finish up he will be in trouble.

Every morning is like this. I have to wake up enough to realize that this isn’t an annoyance but a blessing. I can remember when he was small and I would go into his room and check on him 2 or 3 times a night just to make sure he is breathing. It was a real fear that he could stop breathing in his sleep and I wouldn’t have him anymore to wake me up and see his smiling face. When I find myself becoming irritated that I have to get up and change his pull-up at 3 in the morning I remind myself that this is a blessing. It isn’t easy all the time and I often catch myself realizing that I overreacted and I should have stepped back and breathed and took a different route to how I handled the situation at hand but as I continue to stop and breathe and reevaluate I find it a little more easier each time. I have to remind myself that I am a first time mom, this is a learning experience for myself, Edison, and Conrad. It is truly and adventure and one I am so blessed to be on.

October 23^rd , 2014

My little man has a way of opening my eyes and enjoying the little things in life. I find it ironic how I have to remind myself to stop and smell the roses when in his frame of mind he cannot see anything else more important than stopping and smelling every rose! When did we lose our sense of innocence? He will say the most random and thoughtful things that can turn anyone’s day around. I have been pretty overwhelmed and tired lately and it was only recently that I have received the greatest opportunity to stop working and focus on school and be a partial stay at home mom. Since I transferred to Metro State in Denver life for me has been kind of hectic. It has been 2 weeks now and I LOVE my time at home with my little man and my wonderful husband. But before this opportunity arose, there was one week when I was just completely fried and not feeling up to doing anything. I almost considered staying in bed all day and not going anywhere, but being a mom and knowing that it was only a fantasy not going to come true I had to get up and get ready for work and get Edison to Mema Kathy’s house. So I did the bare minimum and got up, brushed my hair and teeth, pulled my hair back into a pony tail, put deodorant on and got dressed. Edison then walked in a short time later and hugs me, looks up at me smiling and says, “Momma, you smell beautiful. You look beautiful too!” Talk about an instantaneous mood changer J

It is the little things that he says and does that can really snap me back to reality. This morning I asked him to get ready for school so as I followed him into his room he instead goes straight to his radio and says, “I want to listen to my Spanish.” I got a little frazzled because I knew we didn’t have time to mess around and before I could start scolding him I caught an ear full of this man speaking Spanish in such a speed I wondered how on earth anyone could understand him. I smiled and turned off the radio replying we needed to get ready for school and as he sat down to get his clothes on Edison starts mimicking the man on the radio, “ olla, adios, amigo, gracias” in words that he has heard from others who speak Spanish. I would love to be able to scope into a little being’s mind and see just what they hear, feel, think and process because he truly amazes me and always snaps me back into the reality of things, enjoy the little things! Smile, laugh, take your time, be patient. Don’t take any moment for granted and remember that no matter what, the here and now matter most.

It is a battle to keep myself from snapping because most times I don’t even realize I am about to and it’s a battle of the mind saying, “Really Leigh Ann, reacting that way was SO unnecessary.” But when those things do happen I make sure to own up to my mistake and apologize. See that is where I believe most adults go wrong. We are afraid to admit our wrong and forget to realize how powerful an apology can be. Kids are such a great remodel for how innocent a human being can be and we need to revisit the innocent side of our personalities we left behind so long ago. I have to remind myself day by day and realize that I am not perfect but I am striving to be better. That is all that matters.